Category Archives: New Music

A Fortnight of BANGERZ: Miley Cyrus, “We Can’t Stop”

On day two of this Bangerz fortnight, and on partying with all my friends Netflix alone in the dark Saturday night no less, it couldn’t be more fitting to pick apart track two of Bangerz, the comeback/transition/quintessential party hit, “We Can’t Stop.” Take a listen below if you haven’t heard it enough:

Oh, Milers. The first time I heard “We Can’t Stop” it felt like a breakup. We’ve been through our ups and downs, with “Can’t Be Tamed” and your “film acting” phase, but this was a new level. On first listen, I was afraid you’d changed too much for me. “You’re trying too hard.” “This isn’t you.” “Why don’t you call me back, best friend Miley?” Wait. Uh.

My initial reaction as played by the always relevant Ron Swanson. (source)


After a little time apart and a lot of bargaining, I listened again. And again. And again. I couldn’t stop.

Thanks for the rep, Ron. (source)

And then and there I decided this was a change for the better. I think we can work this out. Missed you.

If you couldn’t quite deduce, this song came as a big wakeup call to me; an in-your-face introduction to the new (and improved?) Miley Cyrus, the electronic r&b shock artist. I wasn’t quite ready for it but like most pop music, it was drilled into my brain and after a few listens I realized it wasn’t going anywhere but up.

“We Can’t Stop” is an unmistakeable hit with more layers than the world’s biggest onion shallot:


It has plenty of Auto-Tune for an electronic kick, a little bit of rap for a hip-hop flair and of course, an ear worm formed into a repetitive-yet-catchy dance pop beat.

The main gripe of the song is the uninspired lyrics. Some examples include:

“La-da-di-da-di. We like to party.”

“Shakin’ it like we at a strip club.”

“Dancin’ with Molly.”

“(Insert the entire song here).”

I get it, Miley, you’re edgy now. You like drugs, alcohol AND sex. You are wild and cuh-RAZY! But did you have to shove it in our faces in a way that made 2 Chainz sound like a modern day Shakespeare? Relevant analogy: “Got a big booty so I call her Big Booty” :: “Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day.”

Now it’s not like I’m arguing for a more intelligent set of lyrics for “We Can’t Stop.” Just something a little more inspired and less elementary. But this song is the beginning of a transition, and a perfect representation of Miley’s reintroduction into the pop-o-sphere. All we can do now is sit back and see what she does, writes, prays, or smokes next.

Check back tomorrow for a comb-through of Bangerz’ track 3, “SMS (Bangerz)” featuring bad bitch BRITNEY SPEARS.

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A Fortnight of BANGERZ: Miley Cyrus, “Adore You”


If you haven’t yet heard that Miley Cyrus, Queen of the Modern Pop Universe, released her new album Bangerz this Tuesday, then you must have been living under all the rocks. Her crazy antics have been absolutely plastered (much like her) all over the internet and most of the physical world, including this guy:


Bangerz immediately reached #1 in 70 countries, solidifying the fact that it is now Miley’s time to shine, twerk, bump, grind, and what-have-you.

If you know me in real life and somehow know my deepest secret, then you know I am madly in love with Miley. For a good chunk of my teen years I watched Hannah Montana when no one was around and spent much of my free time learning the words (and maybe even dances) to such hits as “Nobody’s Perfect” and “Hoedown Throwdown.” Do you wish we hung out in high school now? Don’t answer that. I’ve been with her through all the ups and downs and although I was a little confused at some points I’m so damn happy that she’s finally made it.

In order to commemorate the release of Bangerz and my true love of Miss Milers, I will be giving you “A Fortnight of Bangerz.” That’s right – every day for the next two weeks I will be bringing you a new song from the album along with my professional, highly-esteemed opinion. This will culminate in a final review of the album as a whole, which will thusly shape your opinion because of said esteem (/s). In all seriousness, what you’ll find is my honest-to-goodness opinions of every song. While I do love Miley, that doesn’t mean I love all her music and you don’t have to worry about any bias here (unless it’s about Miley’s hair because YOU CAN JUST LEAVE YOU IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT.) Ahem.

Today’s ditty is Track #1 off Bangerz, the ethereal-yet-digital ballad “Adore You.”

Now THIS is what I’m talking about. Right off the bat, Miley showcases her fantastic vocals. Much like Justin Bieber, people have written her off as a one-of-a-million pop star and lumped her into the auto-tune generation because of her background (“famous” Dad, Disney star, etc.). While I’m not going to pretend there’s no auto-tune in this album, this song is one of many that shows off her genuine emotional vocal range. You can feel her yearning as she chants, “No, I need you more. I adore you.” You have to wonder if this song is about falling in love with Liam or just a generic “boy.” (Though the fact that Miley isn’t credited as a writer really makes you wonder.)

Or maybe Justin Gaston?


Probably Jake Ryan.


Both viable options. Definitely more so than Liam.

Either way, Miley’s heartache is right there on her sleeve as she calmly riffs each line. The slow, floating music adds a dash of empathy and a sprinkle of No Doubt – that’s right, I just compared Miley to a group of professional badasses who defined the 90s ska-punk/new-wave movement. Even if you don’t want to accept it, Miley has absolutely killer pipes and an ear for a great tune – there’s no doubt she’ll be around the pop charts for a long time (pun not intended but I feel like I should say it was for good looks). “Adore You” is a fantastic intro to Bangerz – it lets you easily and comfortably slide in to the new Miley Cyrus as you let go of those late night Hannah Montana memories.

Check back tomorrow for a review of the unmatchable hit and Bangerz Track 2, “We Can’t Stop.”

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New Music: Fall Out Boy, “My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light ‘Em Up)”

So my middle school heart almost exploded when the rumors officially became true – Fall Out Boy is back and they have a new song (and tour!) to prove it. After weeks of speculation, the boys have released a brand new song that has further polarized their dedicated fan base. As a lifelong fan (and by life I mean since 6th grade), I was a bit torn when I first heard the track. It’s absolutely NOT the FOB from An Evening Out with Your Girlfriend or Take This to Your Grave. But, then again, that Fall Out Boy died a long time ago. And while that death was sad, it did make ample room for the new and improved From Under the Cork Tree version… which died again when Infinity on High came out. MAKE UP YOUR MIND GUYS.

“My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light ‘Em Up)” is much more reminiscent of Infinity on High and Folie A Deux – pop rock infused with a touch of electronic. Whether you like it or not is your decision, but try not to like it too much – their tour sold out within mere minutes and, unless you have hundreds of dollars to buy a scalped ticket off of StubHub, you won’t be hearing it live anytime soon.

Give it a listen and let me know what you think:

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New Music: Nelly, “Hey Porsche”

I was very recently (as in an hour ago) turned onto this new Nelly song and I almost had a heart attack. Does anyone remember the Nelly that told everyone to take their clothes off because it’s getting “Hot in Herre”? I remember carrying his CD around and telling everyone how I had a huge crush on him. Like… where did he go?!

Why is NO ONE else concerned that he is all of a sudden singing a song that should be sung by Hot Chelle Rae? (If you don’t know who that is, don’t bother Googling them, you will cry.) Yes, it’s catchy. Yes, I have been singing it for an hour. BUT THIS IS NOT NELLY. WHAT IS THIS?!

I don’t know if I want to ask for your opinion because I am nearly heartbroken at what Nelly now is. Check it out… if you dare:

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